Scouting Report
James Ardis

SCOUTING REPORT: Tanner will either be a replacement-level major league pitcher or throw himself off the roof of Cinemark Movies 10 Theatre in Plano, Texas




SCOUTING REPORT: All the schoolkids are texting about Tanner’s fastball, describing how it paints the corners, every single schoolkid is texting about Tanner’s below replacement-level legal guardian




SCOUTING REPORT: When Tanner’s legal guardian proved they were below replacement-level in the school’s parking lot, with the blood of another kid’s dad on their Dockers, Tanner threatened to throw himself off the highest roof in the world




SCOUTING REPORT: Tanner could only remember three roofs in this world: the roof of his home, the roof of Plano Senior High School, and the roof of Cinemark Movies 10 Theatre and that Cinemark roof was the highest

Tanner has a fastball that paints the corners, a legal guardian with blood on their Dockers, and a changeup with fringe command

James Ardis wrote a collection of Coldplay devotional hymns titled "A Head Full of Dreams" (Long Day Press 2018). He also wrote a strategy guide for getting kicked out of your childhood home, "Your Arkansas: A Strategy Guide" (Gauss PDF 2016). His writing appears or is forthcoming in Heavy Feather Review, Black Lawrence Press, Dead Alive, and Rivulet, among others.